Being a Sacred Space During Unsafe Times
The world in these times are riddled with many unsafe places. As a result, we can create barriers over the tender, vulnerable places in our bodies and psyches to defend ourselves against them — against the pain, anguish, and sometimes the cruelty of this world. Over time, we can lose contact with our vulnerabilities, which are essential for authentic human connection and personal growth.
In a world that often feels disconnected from the sacred, where can we find safe spaces?
Where can the sacred still be found in our modern world?
If it’s difficult to find it outside of yourself lately, then let yourself be that sacred space. That means being as present as possible — not as a fixer or solver, but as empathetic witness to another’s unfolding. Being a sacred presence contains the power of what touches and transforms others, and most importantly, it is what reconnects us to the tender heart of ourselves.
In order to be a sacred space for others, we first need to practice being a safe place for ourselves. This isn’t usually taught in one’s upbringing, so it can take practice. This is a great opportunity to begin creating boundaries with ourselves. Setting up boundaries with ourselves first means getting in touch with our needs. We have to know ourselves to know what kinds of boundaries we need. Self-imposed boundaries may include taking responsibility for our actions and behavior as well as following through on decisions and promises we make to ourselves — such as committing to a new workout routine or cutting certain unhealthy foods from our diet. Self-imposed boundaries might include calling ourselves out on when we are self-sabotaging. Setting up boundaries with ourselves creates a sense of safety and self-trust. This can be incredibly impactful for many who have struggled with childhood trauma and who can attest that their family system did not practice healthy boundary-setting.
When we are aware of our boundaries and limitations, we are then free to practice being present with our own humanity. It requires us to show up with all of our humaness — to meet others in their vulnerability while staying rooted in our own. In this humility, something extraordinary happens: we can touch the infinite light of someone. Being a sacred space for others is about bearing witness to the inherent wisdom and light in another, even when they cannot yet see it in themselves. This is not about being healer — it is about being human. Our full presence is the most transformative gift we can offer another as a real, genuine medicine. This sacred practice asks us to reconnect with the depth of who we are and the divine thread that weaves through all life.
In my own experience, I have come to understand that if I cannot provide safety to others, first and foremost, then the bulk of the healing that happens during a session will not occur as seamlessly. This understanding has come from experiencing interactions from others in the profession of healing — and learning what not to do. One would think a trained healer would know how to hold sacred space for others as well as what to say in times of anothers’ crises, but this is unfortunately not the case. There has to be a conscious understanding of how to be sacred space in these moments, and I have found that not every healer understands this delicate nuance.
In the same vein, one cannot be expected to continually hold this kind of sacred space for another when the other party simply is not committed to doing deep inner work themselves. Consistently playing the role of therapist to friends and/or loved ones without reciprocation is not what this post is about. Ideally, healthy personal relationships must be reciprocal or they will die a slow death.
To become an affective shamanic practitioner, it is not enough to successfully interface with the spirits in the Otherworlds — one must have efficacious interpersonal skills with humans as well! This is something I try to instill with my students. In every exchange with clients, as well as the non-human beings in this world, one must practice being a safe, sacred place for them. When there is resonance and trust, the sacred act of healing becomes a natural byproduct of the environment created. When the safety of sacred space is present, the energy system of others will relax and therefore the healing that comes through from the Otherworlds is more easily received. If a practitioner does not come across as a safe, sacred space for others, they will not have gained full trust of clients, and thus, the body will not relax as deeply, and capacity for healing will be quite diminshed.
Active listening is not about the words being said, rather it is about attuning to the essence of what is being communicated beneath the surface. It is verbal, but mostly non-verbal. One must be very present and take the role of witnessing with curiosity.
Active listening techniques include:
Being fully present in the conversation
Practicing good eye contact
Noticing (and using) non-verbal cues
Asking open-ended questions to encourage further disclosure
Paraphrasing and reflecting back what has been said (“What I hear you saying is… did I get that right?”)
Validating another’s experience
Listening to understand rather than to respond
Withholding judgment and advice
Actively becoming a safe, loving container for others to metabolize their experiences means that you step out of the way so you don’t end up interfering in that process. When you do this, you are actively honoring and supporting another’s own unique healing journey. This means honoring their tears, their shadow, their wounds, as well as their potential and their light. When you choose to tell someone what to do, or worse — judge, shame or blame them for being imperfectly human and not doing what you believe they should do, you are actively taking their power away and breaking any non-verbal agreement of trust. And those types of experiences aren’t empowering at all.
The most helpful thing one can do for another is to gently remind them that they have all of the answers they need inside, and that they are resourceful and capable. When you show that you believe in someone, they often begin to believe in themselves too. And when they believe in themselves, their energy shifts and their own answers come forth from within. Now, that is empowering!
The moment I get to witness others I’ve worked with over a long period of time truly rise in their own power, I am absolutely elated! It’s why I do what I do. To me, there is no greater gift to witness! 🌟
As the sun sets on this Samhain night, may the blessings of the well and wise ancestors — the Luminous Ones — settle upon your path and open new doors where there were only closed ones.
May peace envelop this Earth, and may all your heart’s desires that are for the Highest come to fruition and be harvested in the New Year.
