Giving Ourselves Grace
For those of us who grew up around parents with whom we may have felt powerless around, these patriarchal, authoritarian times might feel incredibly activating. It’s important to take care of that part of you that may feel powerless and to participate in activities that do empower you and feed your resilience.
The “modus operandi” is to overwhelm, and unfortunately it’s working for a lot of us. I’ve listened to clients as well as friends and colleagues who, despite regular self-care and paying attention to the media they consume, are feeling anxious, anguish, angry, bone tired, and frightened. When a government overwhelms the masses, the masses tend to become disempowered and are consequently easier to control. In order to stay in your sovereignty, do what you need to do: unplug, take a walk in nature, or do yoga. Even if it’s creating a joyful garden or colorful painting in your own little corner of the world… it will brighten it, feed it, and most importantly, sustain your resilience.
When we are uncertain about the future, it can create a chronic state of panic and anxiety. Unprecedented unpredictability seems to be one of the many tactics being used, and no one likes to live in a state of not trusting the future. But when we’re overwhelmed, our amygdala becomes quite active and leaves our systems hypervigilant, so it can be very challenging to be present. It’s important to remember: being in the present IS your power. It’s also one of the many forms of resistence we can use.
If we see this scenario like a marathon we must run, we know we have to pace ourselves and try not to let our minds feed the worst case scenario every time there is a new scare tactic being played. It’s not good for our mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual health to be inundated by constant information (even if it is literally at our fingertips). It’s helpful to stay as focused as possible and to respond when we have the opportunity, and that can be a delicate balance over the long-term.
Personally, I’ve been ramping up my transfiguration practice lately while combining that with chanting, which has also been helpful with my own healing journey that included two hip surgeries within the past year. When we focus on giving ourselves grace and compartmentalizing (for the moment) the chaotic external world, we can practice refreshing ourselves. But if we don’t put the oxygen mask on, we’re not going to be helpful for ourselves, our loved ones, or others in our community who may need us. So, we need to give ourselves grace in our vulnerable moments.
Giving ourselves grace means meeting yourself with compassion instead of criticism. It’s choosing kindness towards yourself, especially when we’re struggling. Giving yourself grace means giving yourself permission to be however you show up in this moment, whether it be in joy, irritation, anger, grief, or even numbess. Giving yourself grace means to rest when your body is telling you that it needs it. It’s paying attention and honoring your needs - and not pushing through. It’s slowing down without guilt-tripping yourself.
Giving ourselves grace summons to my mind all sorts of imagery of a calm and unruffled demeanor (much like a swan on a calm body of water) that responds rather than reacts. This is a version of grace we may need to show ourselves more… Being kind, courteous, thoughtful, generous, and compassionate to ourselves, as well as to others.
Grace can mean embracing difficult emotions - even conflicting ones, and turning towards them rather than away. Think about a loved one of yours right now. How would you treat that loved one if they were feeling how you’re feeling? If you have childen in your life, what would you do to support them in metabolizing those emotions? Grace given to us by another person is a marvelous feeling, so turn towards those emotions and treat yourself the same way.
It’s okay to not be okay. Giving yourself grace means seeking support, practicing self-care, meeting our individual needs in the moment, and setting realistic expectations for ourselves. Grace isn’t about giving up, it’s about recognizing our human-ness.
If the world feels like too much right now, know you’re not alone. We are all riding the waves of these uncertain times, so give yourself a bit of grace. 🦢
Robert Reich, a professor, author, lawyer, and political commentator, worked in the administrations of presidents Ford and Carter and he served as secretary of labor in the cabinet of President Clinton from 1993 to 1997. He was also a member of President Obama’s economic transition advisory board. In 2008, Time magazine named him one of the Ten Best Cabinet Members of the century.
These are some recent wise words from him:
Keep protesting! But marching isn’t enough…
So, what can we do?
Call your representives in Congress every day if you can. We are in a national emergency. You may think it doesn’t do much, but it does. Visit 5calls.org, which provides guides and scripts you can use. If your reps aren’t listening, vote them out when they’re up for re-election.
Attend city or town halls. Find upcoming meetings at indivisible.org. Ask questions, speak up, and bring friends! A big part of standing up is showing up!
Join local resistance groups or organize one yourself. Follow up with organizers after events to see how you can continue to support the efforts. Attend virtual trainings by ACLU or 50501 to learn about the basics of organizing. We are the leaders we’ve been waiting for!
Boycott corporations and organizations that are caving to the current administration. The Tesla boycott has proven effective. Target’s profits are tanking after rolling back their DEI initiatives. Vote with your $$.
Protect the most vulnerable in your community. This now includes judges, elected officials, LGBTQ+ people, and immigrants. Document what you see happening. Refute those who make malicious or bigoted statements. Support local politicians who are standing up to this Administration, and support mutual aid groups serving your community.
Democracy is not a spectator sport, especially when the stakes are as high as they are now. Together we will stand up for democracy. The future is watching.
You may be thinking, Why is a shamanic practitioner going political in her newsletter? Well, I’ve been working with the spirits for almost two decades, but I’ve also been working with the sentient beings who live in this world with us who happen to not be human. These beings have just as much (if not more!) wisdom, insight, and intelligence as we do. I’ve learned an invaluable amount from them.
We are living on the precipice. Many beings have already become extinct due to the ignorance of humans and the lack of acknowledging how important each of us on the web is. So, when I see an administration roll back policies already put in place to protect water, the Earth, various species of endangered animals, and the delicate balance of the web, my feathers get quite ruffled. I have personally signed many petitions and sent many letters to my State government asking for corrective actions, and I urge you to do the same.
I am a Pagan, and third generation immigrant on my father’s side as well as fourth generation immigrant on my mother’s side. Some of my more recent ancestors were non-white and non-Christian, so it hits home as I witness what Immigration and Customs Enforcement is doing to human beings who are presently not being given the rights that are listed in our Constitution, particularly the Fourth and Fifth Amendments.
In addition, we need to be mindful about how some of us “other” human beings who have every right to live with dignity and respect and yet are not being treated that way. “Othering is a phenomenon in which some individuals or groups are defined and labeled as not fitting in within the norms of a social group. It affects how people perceive and treat people who are part of the ‘in-group’ versus those in the ‘out-group.’” (https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-othering-5084425)
I also identify as a woman (she/her/hers). What is happening now is a rollback to the times before women had bodily autonomy, the right to be acknowledged as a complete person, or the right to vote. Our grandmothers fought so hard to put the 19th Amendment into place, to help get their daughters and granddaughters bodily autonomy, and to see their hard work being torn down in months is appalling.
Lastly, I am a human being with compassion for others (human and non-human alike). I have worked with many people from different ethnic and religious backgrounds around the world - not just as a practitioner but also as a former educator. Every life deserves respect. NO exceptions. That is what democracy is. The etimology of the word democracy is from the French démocratie, via late Latin from Greek dēmokratia, from dēmos ‘the people’ + -kratia ‘power, rule.
It pains me to watch what is happening to the country that my grandmothers and grandfathers undertook an arduous journey for in order to ensure the betterment of themselves, their families, and their descendants. What is happening now should be concerning for each and every one of us, on all levels.
